A Transformative Experience! Sofa Surfer Reviews Transformers: Devastation

It's...uh...rated T by the way. Also PEGI 12.

As popular as Transformers are, you'd think that the concept would be perfect for a video game and other entertainment mediums: giant, colorful, transforming robots battle each other for robo-glory/Earth/Cybertron! A truck fights a jet--but WAIT! They're both bipedal robots now? Huh?! Sadly, it's not that simple, as Michael "Explosions Everywhere" Bay has proven, along with the various vapid games that accompanied the live-action films. High Moon Studios had two rock solid Transformers titles in Fall of Cybertron and War for Cybertron, but with the void recently filled with such robo-wreckage like Rise of the Dark Spark, who would dare answer the call? Thankfully, PlatinumGames of Bayonetta and Vanquish fame has arrived to dole out the nostalgia trip that is Transformers: Devastation!

Graphics

The first thing you'll notice about Devastation is the art style. "Where are the incomprehensible metallic bundles of angst?" Bay film fans may whisper to themselves (as I sob quietly and watch The Rock again, wishing Michael "Money Over Everything" Bay and Nic Cage would reunite). Well, out with the old, in with the...well, older I suppose. The animation hearkens back to the 1980s cartoon, commonly referred to as part of "G1" (generation 1) by the fans who grew up smashing together plastic Autobots and Decepticons. I, however, did not grow up alongside the likes of Optimus Prime and Starscream. I smashed together Batman: The Animated Series figurines instead. And, perish the thought, mixed Star Wars figures with them! The personal nostalgia factor here is low, though if you are a huge fan of the 80's cartoon you ought to do yourself a favor and go buy this immediately. It is the cartoon through the lens of modern technology, allowing for animation that comes alive and jumps off the television. Simply put, this is the cartoon in controllable form. Unlike past Transformer titles, where shootouts could be "flusterclucks" at times as you fired at what seemed to be other metallic objects firing back at you (as everything had a bunch of shiny moving parts), the style is clear so you can differentiate between friend and foe. Though aside from a few occasions where an NPC transformer joins in on the fun, you won't really need any help figuring out who to fight. The animations are fluid and vary across the numerous enemy types and controllable heroes, with the best animations often reserved for the slick transformations. Optimus Prime striking one enemy and instantly morphing into vehicle form to smash another is always satisfying.

Sideswipe unwinding at the end of the day, basking in the sunset!

While the animations and characters look great, there are a few problems with the cartoon palate. The environments are sometimes repetitive-looking arenas with little variation. As exciting as the robo-battles can look, the backgrounds are a bit blank and do not have the same attention to detail as the transformers and their movements. There are some fantastical settings, sure, but chasing Decepticons through the same sections of Earth on multiple occasions had my crying out for more variety. However, I noticed that this is similar to the cartoon, and though the game is negatively affected by the lack of new areas, fans will appreciate that the environments are not too busy, resembling the simple set-ups of old. No over-complicated transformations here, just a good, clean, simple, and vibrant cartoon animation style that fits well and offers a nice change of pace from past titles. I never ran across any slowdown or screen tearing either, so the fluidity was never hindered.  The graphical package was my favorite part of the experience!

Sound

The sound design of the game is well done, with many voice actors from the original cartoon reprising their roles and other roles being filled out by solid soundalikes. Peter Cullen as Optimus Prime has the expected wise, booming voice, and though some voices are on the annoying side, they fit the cartoon theme ably. Fans will love to hear the characters sounding the same decades later, and I appreciated the care that went into crafting the performances that so closely hew to the original series. The metallic cracks and clangs of battle are captured well enough, and the music (unsurprisingly) recalls the guitar-based rock that fills the show. Aside from the guitar-shredding that accompanies most of the game, some scenes include a softer orchestral score that is a bit generic but plays its part well enough. Some riffs got the blood (or oil?) pumping, but after a few hours, some shredding tunes became a bit much. I didn't love the music all the way through, but I enjoyed the high-octane score in certain places. I particularly enjoyed the Ark theme, which has layers of sound stripped away as you progress further into the customization menus, going from crunchy guitars into an percussion-based electronic pulse. A nice touch indeed. 

That burger looks scrumptious, and I don't even like burgers all that much!

Gameplay and Story

In classic cartoon fashion, the Transformers plot is wonderfully simple. The Autobots (the good robots) fight the Decepticons (bad robots) in an attempt to protect the Earth and its people. Note: you will never see any people in the game, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. They are apparently evacuated almost instantly when the Decepticons arrive, so no Shia LaBeefBrisket here. The plot beats lead to boss encounters, the bosses are defeated, and the Autobots live to fight another day. If you're looking for a riveting storyline, you should know better! This truly is a cartoon game, with the villains discussing their evil plans for extended periods of time. I had flashbacks to my brother watching the Yu-Gi-Oh cartoon, with each villain explaining away their motivations and exact plans for 16 of the episode's 20 minute running time. I chuckled at some of the bad puns and insults some of the transformers throw at each other, though I'll leave them for you to discover in all their cheesy glory (if you purchase the game).

Thankfully I screenshot an A rank! These show the side scrolling and isometric sections.

On the gameplay side of things, Transformers definitely bears the stamp of PlatinumGames, and that's a wonderful thing. Aside from the forgettable detour that was the Legend of Korra game, Platinum has created a couple of the best melee-focused experiences of the last console generation, including Bayonetta, Vanquish, Anarchy Reigns, and Metal Gear: Revengeance (yes that's a real game name). The aforementioned titles contain loads of fast-paced action and strong melee combat, and Devastation is no exception. The combo-based system provides numerous ways to dismantle the pesky Decepticons, and it's satisfying enough that it rarely becomes repetitive. It's responsive, fast, and great fun to look at. I particularly enjoyed the slow-mo that occurs when you dodge an enemy at the perfect moment (much like in Bayonetta), allowing you to get in a few more hearty attacks with speed on your side. The slow motion effect that accompanies the destruction of the final enemy in an encounter is also a nice touch, as it transitions from combat into a small score display for your past fight. It doesn't have the same complexity that Revengeance or Bayonetta both bear, which is a little disappointing, but the less precise combat allows for a more casual approach to be taken, at least on the lower difficulties. An easy game, this is not. In some ways, the game’s length works to its advantage, as the game mechanics don’t have much time to grow stale, although the earthly locations do. With five playable characters, the bite-sized length of the game becomes more palatable. 

Had the game contained one character and the same amount of content available, I’m not sure I could recommend this to non-fans or even some cost-conscious (read: cheap like me) individuals at such a price. The move sets differ across each playable character, soothing the sting of the main game's short runtime of around 5 hours (not counting the 50 level challenge mode, which takes place in areas pulled straight from the campaign mode). They offer a multitude of options in combat, and they all handle uniquely and well-enough that you’ll want to spend time playing as each of them, which means you'll likely play through the main story mode more than once. I played the game mostly as Sideswipe on my first run, due to his combo of speed and medium strength, but Grimlock was good fun, as instead of transforming into a car or jet or computer, he transforms into a raging robo-dinosaur. The ranged combat works pretty seamlessly into battles, and the number of ranged weapons at your disposal is most excellent. The most surprising part of the game for me was how well the Transformers control in vehicle form; the combat is tight and moves fluidly, and the vehicular forms handle almost as well. You don't feel like you're attempting to turn an aircraft carrier on a dime, steering a wayward pirate ship like you're in Tokyo Drift. Thankfully, throughout all of this action, the camera does a solid job following your character at even the most heated moments. It failed me only a couple of times, and never frustrated me.

Grimlock may not be the sharpest, but he makes up for it with brute force!

The loot system, though a welcome addition, is a bit disappointing, with most weapons not even worth an equip in their initial state, rather requiring you to synthesize weapons back at base. I appreciated that there were numerous melee and ranged weapons to level up and equip, adding different play styles to master, and I was pleased to grab so many weapons initially, but I spent more time combining them into slightly better weapons than actually enjoying the different approaches they allow. The RPG-lite elements were also unexpected and welcome, such as leveling up your character and buying new moves, but far more time should have been committed to fleshing out these aspects of the game. Side scrolling and isometric sections don't make for worthwhile changes of pace as these sections are not substantial nor quite as effective/fun as I’d hoped. The platforming and very light puzzle-solving elements, which don't come into play too often, are serviceable; they are certainly not as stimulating as the combat. The few chase sections, where you maneuver your vehicle in high-speed pursuit of those damn Decepticons, fit most comfortably aside the combat encounters. Just a few more dollars in the budget and I think PlatinumGames Inc. could have made the game a truly essential purchase for even non-fans (okay, a few million more dollars). Co-op would have been a wonderful addition, and it would also have been sweet to have a fully destructible cityscape to battle through. Maybe next time! 

Where there's smoke, there's fire. And towering robot arms.

Even with a short runtime, Devastation has some spectacular fun packed in. It's relatively linear and straightforward, allowing enough leeway in environments to compel you to search for collectibles and "mini" side missions (often a quick target practice challenge or the like). More than one playable character almost always helps the value as well. It's an easy recommendation to Transformer cartoon fans, as it admirably resembles the 80's toon, but for the length, it may be a stretch purchase for those unfamiliar with Transformers. I believe I owned a Sideswipe figure as a kid, along with a couple cheap ones that probably came with a fast food meal. I saw the bits of the CG Beast Wars as well, and found the concept cool at my young age. I also watched a minuscule amount of the cartoon from the early 2000's, but aside from these instances and the negative experiences from the last three Bay entries in the film canon, I have little prior knowledge of Transformers; I know some of the main protagonists and villains, and that's pretty much it, yet I still enjoyed it. It's a good all-around action title, but, coming from a non-fan, the $49.99/£39.99 price point may be a bit steep for the amount of content for other non-fans. It almost made a real fan out of me, though! Until next time, keep riding the wave. The SOUNDwave! (pun intended, but hastily apologized for)

7.75 out of 10

Graphics: They pop! It's a cartoon feast for the eyes, as simple as some elements might be, like several nondescript backgrounds.

Sound: The guitar-based music grated a bit on me by the end of the game, but it fits well with the 80s cartoon it's hearkening back to, as does the aces voiceover work. Some performances are a bit..."robotic." (forgive me!)

Story: Not a strong suit of the title, but that's sort of the point in this case. Save the Earth and get back the ultra-powerful technology that was misappropriated by the Decepticons.

Gameplay: Smooth controls and combat. There's enough variety that a sense of repetition did not set in until the end of my first go-round. Multiple playable characters strengthens the replayability factor, as they are unique enough to each warrant a lengthy try.

Replayability: The main game clocks in at around 5 hours, though higher difficulties bring tougher Decepticons to do battle with. The 50 challenges do a solid job of adding value, but for $49.99/£39.99, you may want to a wait for a sale if you're not a big fan of action games or Transformers. 

Reviewed on Xbox One with a review copy rented (old-school!) by me. All screenshots captured via my personal Upload.

WHAT JUST HAPPENED?! Sofa Surfer Speed Reviews D4: Dark Dreams Don't Die

This is not an uncommon sight in D4...courtesy of tumblr!

Swery is at it again. After the cult hit Deadly Premonition (a truly weird game that you need to play to understand, or at least attempt to), he has returned with quirky vengeance! As with Deadly Premonition, D4 has personality to spare, overblown and melodramatic in the oddest ways imaginable. Never have I experienced a game quite like this. However, quirks and an intriguing mystery cannot make up entirely for the lack of fully-developed gameplay systems, which is one area D4 fails to enthrall. David Young, a former detective in the Boston Police Department, is searching for his wife's murderer with the help of his former partner and his uncanny ability to use mementos to travel back through time and space. If that sounds a bit far-fetched, that's because it is. In fact, it's one of the craziest games I've ever played. To give away more of the story would ruin its bizarre impact.

This reminds me...where is the Xbox One's real baseball game?! And no, RBI Baseball doesn't count! Super Mega Baseball IS fun...screenshot courtesy of Nerds on the Rocks.

Graphics and Sound

The graphics are of the cel-shaded style, colorful and relatively simple. They aren't going to give your HDTV or Xbox One a major workout, though they are still palatable. They add further to the game's charm. Animations are a bit rigid, and the small environments aren't rendered in such detail that you'll stop to marvel at them. It isn't hardware-stretching, but I still enjoyed the flavor the visuals added to the absurd story. You'll see some insane things happen in this game, and the graphic novel-esque art style is a nice change of pace. There are fun little details in each level, and believe me when I tell you that you'll venture to find each one in all its strange glory, "next-gen graphics" be damned.

On the sound side of things, D4 is real solid. The voice actors do a fine job delivering the strange lines and melodrama, being as over-the-top as needed. For example, protagonist David Young has a stereotypical Boston accent that just adds another layer of absurdity to the story. The music is an eclectic mix of light pop songs and compositions. Effects are also suitably captured in the sound department. The sound design keeps the weird streak going. Try not to laugh as David and his partner inhale enormous amounts of food during serious discussions.

Gameplay

This is the part of the game that has the least to offer, in a technical sense. Any actions completed during the course of the story are quite simple. Move the left stick, mash the A button, click both trigger buttons at the same time, and select objects of interest in small environments. Wash, rinse, repeat. Most of the gameplay is comprised of examining various objects in the environment and running through bits of dialogue with the eccentric cast of characters. It's most similar to a traditional adventure game, though perhaps a bit more on rails. The interactions with these characters are probably the best parts of the game, particularly the meals you have with your former partner in David's apartment. There are also a few small mini-games scattered throughout, as insignificant as they may be, like a classic pipe puzzle and a phone quiz on aeronautics.

.....or are they?

The most engaging parts of the game outside of getting to know the cast of characters involve action sequences in the form of absurd, extended quicktime events. Using a mannequin's leg to smash a baseball back towards an assailant on an airplane suspended in a reconstruction of the past is just one of many absurd moments in the game, and one of the many reasons I enjoyed the game. Probably my favorite parts of the game were the meals with your partner. The escalation in the amount of food consumed and the methods that are used are comical, and I even laughed audibly at David's treatment of his clam chowder. How rare! To give away any more about the goings-on in the game would be a disservice to you, the gamer. The weird discoveries you make as you work through a wacky yet violent world are the game's strongest parts.

One of many quicktime events.

I honestly couldn't get as involved as I would have liked, however, since the game systems in place don't involve much more than pointing, clicking, and moving. The quicktime events are exciting, and the aforementioned mini-games are interesting, but sliding the right stick to open a book only holds my attention for so long. I feel similarly about the Telltale Walking Dead and Game of Thrones series (haven't played Borderlands just yet). I really enjoy the immersion in the story, but I often prefer games with more substance in the gameplay department (something like Witcher 3 or Red Dead...games with compelling stories and engaging, active gameplay systems). That's not to say I didn't enjoy D4; my big gulp runneth over with the wealth of oddities in the game! It's a nice antidote to the glut of shooters on consoles (which I also usually enjoy, actually...). Note: The game can be played using the Kinect, but I used the controller. It worked perfectly fine, though maybe some people out there may want to dust off their Kinect camera lens and get down! Or avoid a cat-woman spitting out mice.

The real way to eat hot dogs, courtesy of PC Gamer. 

The game is an overwhelmingly odd adventure, one that let me down due to its short length and lack of gameplay outside the realm of simple button presses. Trivia about food is fun, but tidbits of info on  Boston chowder does not make for the most compelling game...especially if it's not Cooking Mama! It just felt a bit too linear for my tastes, considering your actions in the game don't create an effect on the outcome of the episodes. In this way it is far different from the various Telltale adventure games, for example, which are all about split-second decisions that have ripple effects across multiple episodes. By sheer force of personality, however, D4  manages to draw you in, as long as you are willing to go along for the ride. Until next time, ride the wave. Safely, of course!

7.5 out of 10

Graphics: Cel-shaded and simple. The animation isn't ultra-polished or top-tier, but it doesn't harm the experience. In fact, it makes the occurrences even more gonzo.

Sound: Solid voice work and an interesting selection of music. Over the top, but that's the point.

Replay Value: Thus far there are only a couple of episodes to play through, taking around 3-4 hours to complete. There are collectibles and extra cases to complete, and each time you complete an episode your stats are compiled for you to see, but the game still only has a few hours worth of value. There are more episodes coming soon (apparently), and it's certainly worth $15 if you want a weird experience.

Entertainment Value: The game is overflowing with a distinct brand of charm that can't be ignored. As long as you know the weird and wild story requires "quicktime" reflexes and suspension of disbelief, you'll have a delightfully deranged time.

Any questions that need answering? Well that's what google is for!! But if you have any specific questions about any game you can think of, let me know.

A Rivian Pleasure! Sofa Surfer Reviews The Witcher III: Wild Hunt

(Reviewed on Xbox One. All screenshots in-game from myself unless noted otherwise)

Sprawling. Epic. Mature. Three words that fit nicely in a promotional trailer. And with so much anticipation for what is purported to be the final chapter in the Witcher series, these words could be considered part of the "overhyped" bug that bit both Battlefield and Assassin's Creed recently. Thankfully, these three words are fitting bullet points. The Witcher III has arrived, and my, is it bloody good entertainment!

I remember eons ago how I awaited The Witcher: Rise of the White Wolf's release on Xbox 360, a port from the 2007 PC title simply known as The Witcher. The game never arrived, and I hid in a dark corner quietly brooding (not crying! I swear!), wishing I would have had a chance to play such an intriguing game. My wish, in a way, was eventually granted, and The Witcher II: Assassin of Kings was announced for the Xbox 360 and was released in 2012 to wide acclaim. I even walked two miles to the store on the day it came out to pick it up! Ludicrous, I know. My expectations were sky high for the end of the trilogy, since the second was supreme entertainment. Based on a series of fantasy stories and novels from Polish writer Andrzej Sapkowski, The Witcher titles are known primarily for their dark, gutsy, and Slavic approach to various fantasy worlds and themes as well as the titular witcher: Geralt of Rivia. 

That tree you see? It isn't just a nice background. In a minute's time, you could be standing next to it.

As the third game in a trilogy, Wild Hunt may seem like an odd point of entry for those with no prior experience. Sigismund Djikstra, spymaster extraordinaire, cooperated with Phillipa Eilhart in an operation to catch the perpetrators who murdered King Vizimir of Redania. If you read that sentence and came out confused, prepare yourself! You will attempt to remember numerous fantasy names, creatures, and story features while you struggle to understand what is so important about that damn red-headed sorceress. A run-through (or a refresher for returnees) of the first two games' stories will do a fair bit to help you work through lore and side characters' motivations. Even if you haven't played the past two titles, you will likely still be drawn into the simple set-up of a badass monster-slayer searching for his ward and daughter figure in an unforgiving land. Though at first newcomers may believe lead protagonist Geralt to be a cookie-cutter action game protagonist with rugged good-looks and a raspy voice, trust me: he's SO much more than a cliche avatar. His inimitable presence anchors the game at every point; although he seems to lack enthusiasm, it's just his measured, somewhat cynical approach to the dirty world around him taking hold. He is seen by others as an emotionless, dangerous mutant, after all, so why not be what they fear once in a while? With strong characters, a well-realized world, and solid gameplay mechanics, CD Projekt Red's The Witcher III surpassed even my ultra-high expectations.

Graphics and Sound

In the sound department, Wild Hunt is fantastic. Monster growls echo forbiddingly in grottoes and caves, and human soldiers curse at you during battle. Swords slicing through the air result in swift, crunchy impacts, and Geralt's stern reactions in the face of overwhelming odds are fitting. The music is excellent as well, ranging from soft strings while you roam the countryside to intense chanting during battle. One small gripe I have is that some music repeats too often in battle, leaving me wishing that the stronger orchestrations would appear more frequently. The voice acting, particularly that of the lead characters, is strong, lending added weight to the dramatic interactions between them. Geralt has a wry, reserved way of speaking and responding to others that I never tired of, though he rarely raises his voice above a raspy whisper. Normal civilians scattered throughout the world are voiced well, although they repeat dialogue ad nauseam if they're not part of a quest and you insist on pressing A to talk to them (unsurprisingly). Rarely have I felt so immersed in a game, where I could just walk through a market and be content listening to conversations taking place about the witch hunts or the effects of war.

As pleased as I am with the sound design of the game, the graphics are just as impressive. Running at a glorious 1080p on Xbox One, the game is nothing short of stunning. I have not encountered many framerate issues or screen tearing at all, with the game locking in at around 30 fps for the entirety of the experience. This is the first "next-gen" game that I've played that actually made me stop and stare in awe at the beautiful vistas before me, though those with a powerful PC could really catch the eye. The PS4 version does look slightly better, but it's not so evident that your enjoyment will be impacted if you choose one version over the other (now if you choose PC...that's a different story). The textures are crisp and rarely muddy, with character and environment designs ornate and detailed. Just walking about the medieval-esque world offers entertainment, with such impeccably rendered interiors and exteriors. The landscape feels natural and expansive, not overtly "game-like," so to speak, and the lighting is sublime for such a large game, particularly when it comes to sunrises and sunsets. Another smaller effect that really struck me was how trees bend in the wind,  an effect I can't recall seeing done so well anywhere else. It's visual flourishes like these that fill the game, with seemingly no detail too minuscule to be included. Fluid animations are present in both character interactions and combat, with each of the beasts carrying themselves (and more importantly, attacking you) in fitting beastly fashion. That's not to say there aren't wonky animations once in a while, with Geralt's jumping and Roach the horse creating some strange images, and instances of clipping and environmental pop-in provide some blemishes. One such blemish that ruined my immersion was the cloud-to-cloud lightning. It looked spectacularly fake, even for a game! Examples: the top image is good, and the bottom image is rubbish.

Subtle. Ominous!

Wha--what?! (It looks bad in motion at certain angles, okay?)

Save for the odd glitch, such as a guard somehow submerged from the waist-down in a stone street, the game is aces in the visual department, especially with recent updates working some magic in ironing out the expected open-world game kinks.

One of the "coolest" effects: a Northern Wind bomb that freezes everything within a certain radius!

Gameplay

You are a witcher, and the game makes you feel like a badass monster hunter. Usually. When you're not perishing against upper-level baddies like golems. You roam the vast, well-realized world, accepting contracts and fighting evil beasts, often after periods of investigation. The Witcher vision resembles the detective vision of Batman in the Arkham series, highlighting evidence in the environment and leading you eventual enemy encounters. Brewing potions to enhance abilities before combat becomes necessary for survival at higher difficulty levels, with sword oils improving damage and potions allowing you to see in the dark or regenerate health. There are many different potions, items, and weapons to craft, and slaying monsters will give you materials to brew or build new creations. It's a system that encourages exploration and combat, with new discoveries leading to hardy armor, for example. With outfits that actually look aesthetically pleasing, you'll want to go out of your way just in case you missed something valuable. Upgradeable signs (similar to magic spells) and abilities allow you to customize Geralt to your heart's content, with real-time beard growth especially fun for those who wish for a hockey playoff beard (sadly no ZZ Top or dwarf beard options...yet). Combat is fluid, with enemies surrounding you and challenging your reflexes and parrying skills. The block and counter system in place is solid, with the rhythmic sword-swings creating a pretty dance of death, but to really control the crowds, you must utilize your signs, varying from waves of flame that turn wolves into crisps to what is essentially a "force push," knocking characters off their feet. 

Learning the strategic value of your strikes, dodges, and signs makes for a deep combat system, tasking you with managing a multitude of enemies and your draining stamina bar. Shifting your approach depending on the enemy results in a balanced variety of fights, and the sections where you play as Ciri speed up the combat with her ability to phase in and out of reality. Her speed and finesse are nice counterpoints to Geralt's more grounded style, which also involves bombs, crossbows, and other ranged tools of destruction. Wild Hunt can get frustrating in spots; since enemies don't scale to your level, you can sometimes run across powerful new creatures that can obliterate you in one hit. At higher difficulties, your constantly degrading armor and weapons really become more of a pain as you fail against stronger foes. You have to discover weaknesses and prepare yourself for each battle, quaffing potions that build in toxicity and lead to death, if you drink too many. Once you get a hang of the gameplay the higher difficulty is a welcome challenge, particularly for series veterans like myself, but for newcomers, the first and second difficulty choices should be a good fit.

Courtesy of Technology Guide. For a taste of my hand-to-hand combat skills, visit http://i.imgur.com/06SUGPN.mp4

Outside of pitched monster battles, there are plenty of other tasks to complete, and none of it feels like busywork. Horse races, fight clubs, Gwent card games, and other random encounters fill the map as you play, beckoning Geralt to step off the beaten path and enjoy some down time. I got quite caught up in the simple card game of Gwent, and my quest to collect all the cards in the land and beat experts for their special cards hearkened back to my childhood, collecting Pokemon cards and reveling in victories over my brothers. I couldn't stop! With side missions as diverting as the main storyline, I rode across hills and valleys searching for new tasks. Towering stone castles and pitch black caves hold dark secrets, and these features are so naturally and smoothly constructed that I had to stop and take in the sights or, in more than one case, survey the site of a gruesome battle. The addition of sailing sent images of the Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker dancing through my head, with the ocean breeze carrying me across islands. As much as I loved roaming the cities and small hamlets, there were rough spots, unsurprising considering the size of the game.

Your steed, Roach, can get stuck on scenery if you happen to whistle for him in a weird place. There were a couple traveling merchants that I couldn't interact with for whatever reason, with one that also happened to levitate a foot off the ground. These do not occur frequently enough to really harm the overall experience, but they can still annoy. My brother actually had a save data glitch that apparently wiped his latest autosave, setting him back a good bit, though I luckily haven't run across such a problem. My last gripe with the gameplay systems would be rare occasions of poor hit detection in combat and the cluttered menu interface. Specifically in the inventory menu. There is just too much going on! You collect so many doodads and pieces of junk that you don't know what to do with them. Sometimes these little plants and whatnot become important for a potion you need later, so I became accustomed to picking up all the glowing items I saw (I "borrowed" from civilians, yes...for a good cause!), but you need to be at certain angles to grab specific pieces of loot, and I lit way too many torches by accident since the same button is used to light various candles and to select items. On one occasion, swimming underwater and trying to grab a tucked away plant proved to be the most difficult trial of all, necrophages, ghouls, and wraiths be damned! The gameplay is across the board rock solid, and with recent updates helping to polish what is already a shiny ruby of a game (oooo treasure), a few hiccups cannot derail the gravy train.

That's his backyard.

The Northern Kingdoms are mired in war, and betrayal is around every corner. Everyone has their own selfish needs, and the ominous atmosphere is stifling. It's particularly powerful to happen upon a beautifully constructed village only to see that half of it has been razed, with locals on their hands and knees sobbing for mercy. The story is mature, and though not as focused as Witcher II, it's still compelling. This isn't the classic save the world plotline, and it's refreshing. It's not good versus evil, black and white. Choices actually shape the game, and making a chivalrous choice does not always lead to a good result. In one surprising turn of events, I spared a man's life and turned him in to the authorities, only for him to be hanged instead of jailed or reprimanded. I was shocked, and many decisions in the game lead to results that are entirely unexpected. Set against a backdrop of political turmoil and war, the story is more personal than most fantasy titles, revolving around Geralt attempting to reunite with and possibly save his daughter figure, Ciri, a powerful young woman with skills that exceed even those of the very seasoned witchers.

Along the way you meet dwarves, elves, bandits, kings, spies, sorceresses, and cutthroats, each rendered with detail and voiced with zeal. Undercurrents of racism are present across the various locations, with elves, dwarves, and other non-humans (like Geralt) being treated poorly, and thankfully such serious thematic elements are treated with skill instead of coming off as overbearing. You really feel unwelcome in some towns as inhabitants spit at you while others speak in hushed tones, terrified of your rumored unnatural abilities. The main characters and storyline are certainly the most thought out and often well-written, but small side quests bear the attention to story and minutiae that usually escape other games. When you realize that a random encounter in the wild with a roving hunter could lead to a murder mystery and (gasp!) werewolves, you get the feeling of being in another world, immersed almost entirely. The story also inserts moments of levity, without these feeling forced or overly lewd. I chuckled more than a few times, a nice break from the oppressive atmosphere present throughout most of the game. One of my favorite moments involved Geralt being forced to perform in a comedic play to weed out an audience member.

I spy with my Witcher eye...a man with no feet?!

Not everything is so wonderful, however. There were a few points throughout the story where I felt I was just reliving Ciri's moments and not truly tracking her, hurting the pacing of the main quests. As fun as the side quests often were, I also found them to become a little repetitive by game's end, with a predictable pattern of talk, Witcher vision, fight, and talk playing out again and again. To the game's credit, the mini-storylines and results are often surprising, resulting in only a bit of side quest exhaustion by the time I was done. This can be a problem in many modern RPGs that try to pad out the runtime of the experience and mark the common fetch quest boxes. I have also heard some negative talk about the role of women in the game as well as the lack of characters of color, two things I really took time to consider. 

There were a couple moments in the story where I felt as though women were portrayed as helpless, over-sexualized victims, as per old fantasy tropes, and the series has come a long way from the first title where you received provocative cards for "romancing" various females. Triss, Yennefer, and Ciri all felt like much more than fantasy female stereotypes, and though their outfits could be a bit revealing without necessity, they were all strong and independent, with a feminine agency that reaches far beyond that of the typical "maiden in need" so often found in works of fantasy. Only one moment in the game truly offended me, involving a number of dead female prostitutes in various states of death, attempting to make one villain seem completely reprehensible. It worked, and I hated the man, but it felt like way too much. Regarding the lack of characters of color: it's a game designed by a largely Polish group of developers who base their work on Slavic fantasy from a Polish writer, so it doesn't come as a huge surprise that characters of color aren't represented in the final product, at least in the time that I've played. I definitely feel that this is something that could easily be remedied in future titles, though it shouldn't have to be remedied in the first place. I am disappointed that the Witcher lacks the sort of diversity that could really resonate with gamers across many cultures, but other than these few misses, the game is still a tremendous piece of entertainment, and a stellar RPG experience that should not be missed by any gamer. I have no doubt that Wild Hunt will contend for the title of "game of the year." More so than any game I've played up to this point, choices carry weight and influence almost every facet of the experience. It's the closest thing to a good Game of Thrones game as there is, even if it's just because there are violent sword fights and copious amounts of swearing. Wild Hunt isn't quite perfection, but it's such a damn good time that it receives my first 10 out of 10 ever!

10 out of 10

Graphics and Sound: Characters appearing to float or clip through objects, odd horse maneuvers, and sometimes wooden jumping animations do pop up from time to time, but not frequently enough to really harm to overall visual package. Minor visual quirks aside, the game looks wonderful, and it played smoothly throughout my hundred hours. The characters are voiced well, adding a load of personality to the proceedings. The music, though at times repetitive in battle, is orchestrated quite well and worth a listen on the included CD. The design and attention to detail provides a truly compelling experience, and this is one of those rare games that blew me away when I booted it up. That wow factor is just one of many reasons to pick this game up.

Gameplay: The real meat of the experience, though some aspects of it could use some touching up. Combat is smooth but I ran into a couple instances of off hit detection, and the large amount preparation for encounters is key at higher levels, which could be off-putting for those who expect a more casual experience (check your difficulty level before you start...you can also change it at any time, a nice touch). As enjoyable as the missions are, the design can become a bit predictable and repetitive over the course of a playthrough. Jumping and interactions with Roach the horse can be wonky, but otherwise, the mechanics are rock solid and mixing in signs with swordplay always got my blood pumping. And there's GWENT! 

Replay Value: The game has already lasted me upwards of 70 hours, and with such an immersive world, I can see myself pouring more time into it. The main story should take around 25-30 hours to complete if you don't do anything else aside from main quests, but otherwise, playthroughs can take anywhere from 70-110 hours and then some if you explore every nook and cranny. With massive DLC expansions on the way in October and next spring, apparently 10 and 20 hours respectively, and 36 different endings to the game, you won't get a better bang for your buck.

Entertainment Value: This is everything you want a video game to be. It's got a fine story, massive world, and exciting gameplay. Most importantly, it's just flat-out FUN. Do yourself a favor and pick this game up. RPGs like this don't come around too often, and it's one of my all-time favorites already.

Bonus Photo Below: The results of a hard night of fighting or drinking?

The First Sin Shall Be A Controller Toss Into A TV...Sofa Surfer Reviews Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin

From Software has developed a user-friendly stable of games over the past few years. Demon's Souls on PS3 was perhaps the third easiest game I have ever played, and Dark Souls was a wonderfully relaxing return to the mechanics and fast-paced battles of its spiritual precursor. I don't think I died once! The tutorials took up about a third of the games' run times, and the controls were stupidly simple. The much ballyhooed Capra Demon was a breeze!

......ALL LIES!

If you didn't already know, homie, now you know (+1 half-eaten cookie for anyone that understands the reference). The "Souls" series offers a fantastic challenge, with weighty combat and absurdly powerful beasts. The most harmless of the enemies can still send you to the "YOU DIED" screen  with a few well-placed hits, and the terrifying monsters you attempt to flee from will destroy you in one fell swoop. So frustrating, yet so SATISFYING! Like the struggle to make homemade pizza on the first try..."where is the pepperoni?" "how do I make the crust?" "wait, this isn't my house!" You get it. You fight and fight and fight and the struggle pays off! Usually. Though I would encourage you to play both Demon's Souls and Dark Souls before enjoying this title, this works as an effective entry point to the series if you only have a "new-gen" console. It's also a bit more newcomer-friendly than the other two, and with all three DLC packs thrown in, Scholar of the First Sin is worth every penny to both regulars and new arrivals (used, it's around 5,499 pennies. Ya know, just in case you're gonna be that guy/gal that dares to pay in rolls of change).

One of the best strategies in the game: FLEE!

Graphics and Sound

Seeing as this is the definitive release of the game, the graphics better be damn good! As I'm reviewing the Xbox One version of the title, some may wonder "what's the frame rate?!" to which I will say "Away, cur!!" The game didn't exactly stretch the hardware on last-gen systems, but it looked solid. My initial playthrough of Dark Souls 2 last year went smoothly, and frame-rate hitches didn't rear their ugly heads too frequently. Still, the Xbox 360 version could have used a bit of extra polish in the looks department. Thankfully, Scholar provides an upgrade across the board. There were only two occasions that I recall where the framerate took a major hit, and one of those was thanks to my internet cutting out. The framerate stays consistent throughout most all of the game, smooth as can be at around 60 fps. The textures have also been touched up, with what used be generally muddy environments now detailed...uh...rocks I suppose. And mud. 

But seriously, the game looks crisp and moves well. The various enemies you encounter are well-designed, and many bosses are a sight to behold! Behemoths at the end of the mazes you run through. Many environments are also a sight to see, and they would be wonderful to take in if you weren't being set upon by rabid dogs and sneaky hollow knights! Death is truly around every corner, and the landscapes you battle across are built well enough to keep you guessing as to where enemies will sprout from. The gear you discover and equip often has minute details, and it's a testament to the design team that there are so many cool pieces of equipment. With so many varied creatures and structures, the game is a looker. Not a system seller, but definitely a marked improvement over the vanilla original.

Enemy or ally? You decide!

Music is pretty rare in the game, but when it makes its forbidding arrival, it's suitably epic. The lack of music enhances the tension throughout the encounters as you await the tell-tale sound of footsteps (claw steps as well?) and eventual clash of steel or flurry of magic. The sound of a broadsword clanging off of a narrow stone hallway's wall is painful to hear (knowing your equipment is degrading and you likely missed an opportunity to finish an opponent), and the satisfying crunch of an arrow finding its mark never fails to elate. You will feel the rush of a close call after you roll across the stone steps of a a castle's battlements, giant hammer smashing into your previous position. The voice acting is rock solid, and the sounds of monsters are captured just as well. An impressive package of sound and fury indeed!

Gameplay

Now, for the true meat of the experience (or tofu, if you don't eat meat...choose your favorite vegetable if you don't mess with tofu either!). Devil May Cry this is not, and that's okay. Beginning with a mysteriously vague cutscene giving you something that resembles a story set-up, you are dropped into the world of Drangleic and left to fend for yourself pretty quickly, soon after a character creator that works well enough. A number of classes are offered, but to suggest the best class would be pointless, as everyone will get a different feel from the game. I chose the knight build, but the game allows you to level up as you please, with the class choice more of a basis for your character and less of a restriction (so you can use whatever equipment you please, as long as you level up the proper stats). The initial area has stone tablets that offer the controls, but knowing the controls is only the starting point for REALLY learning them. Each weapon differs in weight, changing attacks, and learning the shift in momentum between a lumbering two-handed great sword and a swift rapier is key to success. There are hundreds of weapon and armor combos, and though it's not a "lootfest" in the sense that Diablo has gear everywhere ALL THE TIME, there are plenty of exciting treasures and rare super weapons to be found. I was still annoyed that the weapons degrade with use, but such a system forced me to consider my backup stances and weapons and added a whole new element of strategy to boss encounters in particular. My favorite mace shattered in a pitched battle, and though disheartened for a moment, I drew a sword enhanced with flame and finished the job. As important as weapons and armor are in the game, the balance of battles are just as important.

You will be constantly running into new enemy types, many of which require you to use a different weapon or approach to detect weaknesses. Obviously, fire salamanders can shrug off a thrown firebomb (duh fire!), but a lightning arrow fired from a carved dragon bone bow can work wonders (just one of many examples). Experimenting with different combat maneuvers is a necessity to learn and survive, and it's part of the game's charm. You are not told, "Hey this boss is vulnerable to poison!" It's all about having a strategic approach to combat. In fact, some sections are nigh unbeatable with a magic-caster if the abomination is resistant to magic, so guess what? Try another approach. Your stamina meter controls the period of time you can run (and hide, it's okay no shame in this game!) or fight, and once exhausted, you leave yourself open to a possible critical hit. The encounters rely on conserving and/or using your stamina wisely, such as tanking it and taking hits with a massive shield (essentially waiting it out for a massive blow to destroy the enemy) or dodging and rolling and quickly striking with hopeful precision. It's easy to rage at the game and ruin your television with a well-placed controller chuck, but push on through and you'll reap the rewards.

Blasted phantoms...

One thing is certain: you will get "got!" The game is rarely cheap, though, and I probably died more times diving out of harm's way and off a cliff in flight than when I was locked in a mortal struggle (it did help that I beat the game once before on 360...shhh). Each time you lose, you have an opportunity to learn. That four-hit combo that you hadn't seen before? Well, now you know that stupid knight has it, and now you can endeavor to defeat it. The sense of discovery not only in arriving at a new, dangerous location but in coming face-to-face with a new threat really gives this game a satisfying feel. It's rewarding to defeat the bosses without being struck down once, and though there are sections that have enemies packed together in such a way that you may wonder aloud if the developer is trying  screw you over (THE BONFIRE WAS RIGHT THERE!!!), each obstacle is surmountable with the right amount of tact.

Although the story is not fully fleshed out, I kind of liked the way you float among NPCs, gleaning tidbits of information and discovering new items. The NPCs you come across can often help you in major battles as well, and if you play your cards right AKA don't let them die a horrible, painful death, they'll hook you up with some free stuff (not crappy coupons either). Many of them offer a wide selection of items for purchase, and, in an almost cruel twist of fate for newcomers, you use your "souls" to purchase such items. So your "souls," earned when defeating enemies or infrequently discovered in chests, are used to level up your character, upgrade your current weapons, or purchase items. This makes you consider your options after each big take...do I use my souls to buy some new armor and maybe level up or do I upgrade my favorite sword and hope for the best?

Multiplayer, the final piece of this experience, is a bit hit or miss with me. A good single-player character build may not work too well in the realm of multiplayer combat. You can invade others' worlds and ruin their day by slaying them and earning your keep in your chosen covenant, or you can cooperate with others to defeat the toughest bosses. There are a number of these covenants, many which tie in directly to your multiplayer performance and reward you with covenant-specific gear. I gave a look to all of them, and which you choose really depends on your play style (don't want to give TOO much away). I enjoyed helping others defeat insurmountable odds, but I was annoyed to no end by someone like cornxonxthexcob1530 (not a real gamer tag that I know of) appearing as a phantom in my game and cursing me right before I reached a mini-boss. Progress lost. Controller squeezed angrily beneath my sweaty palms. Multiplayer is optional, but you are missing out on an integral feature of the game if you play in offline mode. At least give it a shot, you may enjoy it more than I did! Damn invasions...One final gripe would be the inconsistent first-person targeting system for ranged weapons. I didn't run into the problem too often, but there were a few times where my character kept moving in and out of the fps camera while I was aiming. No big deal.

Big swords mean big hits!

As for the DLC, the game includes all three major packs: Crown of the Sunken King, Crown of the Old Iron King, and Crown of the Ivory King. All three add on new (and quite pretty!) areas for you to die in, adding multiple bosses and over ten hours of extra gameplay. They're meant to be played after you complete the main game, as some parts are quite difficult. I lost count of the curse words I used to pelter one boss with after my weapon proved most futile. If you like the main game, you'll enjoy these new areas just as much. I would share so much more, but part of the fun is the discovery as I said before. Enjoy the surprise of a club crushing your lovingly outfitted avatar!

This is THE definitive edition of the game, and if you missed out on the DLC on your PS3 or 360, this is worth a full purchase. If you beat everything and want to play an updated version on your new system, this is definitely for you, most esteemed and dedicated fan! Newcomers, don't be afraid. Traverse the white light and join the ranks of the Undead! It may take a little while to get used to, but the rewards can be great. It's arguably the most user-friendly Souls game. If you're still afraid, go play the Witcher 3 and revel in its majesty! Or Kelly Slater's Pro Surfer (it was worth a shot). Keep riding the wave, my friend(s). A second opinion will be coming soon!

9.0 out of 10

Graphics: The graphics have been updated to a crisp level and they are much more detailed than before, though they're still not system sellers (I seem to say this a lot...). The silky smooth framerate is an excellent addition, allowing you to enjoy the excellent art design and monstrous bosses. Oh and spells.

Sound: The rarely used music is epic and often accompanies your arrival into an unbearable boss battle. Definitely a plus! Voice acting and battle sounds fit like an engraved gauntlet (they're good!).

Replay Value: I completed all there is to see including DLC in less than 60 hours, though first-time players will undoubtedly take longer to push through the content. There is a ton of value here, with innumerable secrets to find and a new game+ option. Multiplayer is a mixed bag, but the covenants associated with it could take up to 10 hours of your time (and that's just for one). Overall, you're getting at least 75 hours of value out of this, and if you must see all the content and then some, you're going to pour over 100 hours into it.

Entertainment Value: An already excellent game with a new-gen update and full stable of DLC, Scholar of the First Sin will give you hours upon hours of challenge. If you're up to it, steel yourself and prepare to die. And learn. And die. And then TRIUMPH. A must-have "RPG" for any PS4 or Xbox One owner. Go play the first two!!

Any questions about games/movies/sports? Ask away! I will respond in a timely manner.

A wonderful gif courtesy of tumblr! 

Replayable or Repetitive? Sofa Surfer Reviews Resident Evil HD REmaster

Resident Evil has long held a place in my heart. How long? Well, since I played Resident Evil 4 in 2009. Blasphemy, some say?! I had actually always wanted to play Resident Evil since reading about it in magazines as a kid, and seeing others play it. Spooky mansion and undead foes? Count me in! Sadly I also didn't spend too much of my own money on games until I reached my teenage years, meaning that my parents weren't too keen on getting me a creepy, gory game for the holidays with a younger brother around. Soon after I got a PS2 in 2009 (to complement my Nintendo library and 2008 Xbox 360), I stocked up on games, with Metal Gear games and Resident Evil 4 among the first few games I picked up (I also picked up the Mummy Returns at some point...but that's another grand story for another time!). I was so excited to finally see what all the fuss was about, and suffice to say, I wasn't disappointed.

Huuuuuuuug?

The gunplay was tight and the story was absurd. I enjoyed it immensely, though college meant I never got around to finishing the final half hour of it. Excuses, I know! My older brother had also procured a copy of Resident Evil for the Gamecube, and I jumped into that. However, as atmospheric and tense as the game was, I was never able to get into it. Perhaps it was because I never had it in my possession for long before my brother returned to school, or maybe because my 360 was calling my name with pretty graphics and Oblivion. Either way, I didn't make it too far. Someday I would make a triumphant return, fanfare and all, to the game. Resident Evil 5, 6, Raccoon City, and Revelations came and went, each an enjoyable and suitably crazed entry into the series (6 is particularly insane, though I'm not quite finished with it to give it an absolutely bonkers thumbs up). Now, almost 20 years since the release of the original on PS1 and 13 since the REmake on Gamecube, I have completed it! On Xbox One, no less. Was it a disappointment? REad on to find out.


Graphics and Sound
Was that intro long-winded enough? Don't answer that.

No questions!!!!

My first thought when booting up the game (aside from "Should I be playing this alone and late at night?") was "How will these remastered graphics look?" I remember the Gamecube version looking quite solid, even eight years after its release. The pre-rendered backgrounds did help a bit, but I nonetheless found the game capable of creating palpable tension with the graphics and sound elements alone. That was four years ago. Now? With the remaster in glorious 1080p? It looks good. Some textures in the environments seem a bit blurry, and the character models that have never matched the detail of the environments still don't quite make the cut. The cutscenes also feature some poor lip-synching and wooden movement, also coming with a grainy look. The world-renowned tank controls don't really help the character movements look ultra-fluid, but in-game animation for the creatures and protagonists is solid overall. Most importantly, the well-designed environments conjure enough atmosphere to almost carry the game. Even if they aren't the most beautifully rendered areas seen in a game, they have a level of macabre detail and personality that cannot be understated. Plus the varied, fixed camera angles allow for the lighting to be utilized to its fullest potential.

The sound area of the game is also essential in providing a tense experience. The moans of the rotting zombies fill the dim corridors, and the vicious growl of a Crimson Head closing in is unnerving (especially if you haven't saved in a while!). There isn't much music, but the canny use of it at choice moments to make you leap out of your seat is welcome. The weapons all sound fine, though they lack the sonic power I had hoped for. As for the voice acting, it's a mouse's dream: cheese all around! And Pinocchio wouldn't feel out of place here, what with the wooden acting and character movements. It's honestly just a part of the game's charm, and it didn't bother me too much. The sound design outside of the voice acting is pretty smooth, particularly the creature noises. The sound of a shambling zombie makes or rapidly approaching hound makes you consider your options; fleeing is never far from your mind, as you attempt to conserve ammo and recovery items. The graphics and sound package work to create an ominous and oppressive world, an impressive one at that!

Gameplay
While I greatly admire the fantastic atmosphere and strong sound design, the gameplay was a little lacking for my taste. Perhaps the rosy-lens I sometimes view past games through gave way to the reality that not too much has changed in thirteen years, aside from graphical upgrades and such. The controls are the first order of business: you are at last allowed to move in any direction with the left analog stick, as opposed to being stuck dealing with the infamous "tank" controls. You can stick with the old-school controller set-up for added levels of difficulty and nostalgia, but I welcomed the option to move your character with a more modern level of fluidity. That's not to say that Chris and Jill move with grace...the stop and pop gunplay and combat is still a bit flat, and with the fixed camera creating some awkward angles to move through and fight in, frustration can set in on higher difficulties, forcing you to shoot at enemies off-screen. This isn't some wall-to-wall action extravaganza with an emphasis on combat like the absurd RE6, which is fine, but a bit more flexibility in the combat would've been welcome. The weapon selection doesn't stray from the ordinary, but it honestly doesn't need to. The pistol, shotgun, and other few weapons get the gruesome job done. You also have a knife if all else fails, but I rarely used it on my first play through. To escape the grabby wrath of the walking corpses or pooches, you can find grenades and defense knives to jam into the rotten heads of these bastards. The emphasis is not on combat!

Shotguns are always welcome in a zombie game.

Until the boss battles. As cool as some of the bosses are (and believe me they're pretty cool/creepy/crawly/slithery), it can be a pain in the ass to shoot accurately and avoid damage at higher difficulties. At lower difficulties, they're more manageable, dealing out HP draining hits but not inciting controller-throwing rage...unless you use all your ammo on them. Then you'll end up running everywhere the rest of the game, high stepping to avoid all conflict and hopefully sidestepping the Crimson Heads. All in all the combat is...passable I suppose, but with how strong the combat is in RE4 and its following installments, I was a little disappointed. That's the burden of expectation, I fear, and with the game being essentially 13 years old, I probably shouldn't have expected too much in the way of modern fluidity. Don't let the stiff combat stop you from giving this a look! Unless you're deathly afraid of fleeing from numerous mutated abominations all seeking to end you. That's a totally cool reason too. If there's animal you're afraid of (or pretty much any animal at all at this point, save zombie sugar gliders and parrots), Resident Evil has mutated it and zombified it. So run away if you must!

Sprinkled in with the various enemy encounters are puzzles. Most of these aren't very taxing, with many consisting of finding the proper objects to open up new areas. These wouldn't be too annoying if they weren't predicated on fetching the right items at the right time from your damn item boxes scattered throughout the mansion. As much as I love the emphasis on survival horror and preparing yourself to make it through each encounter by the skin of your teeth if need be, I LOATHE the item boxes. I prefer RE4's item management system, where your attache case traveled with you and still offered a challenge in forcing you to consider your resources and weapons loadout. The save ribbon system, I don't mind as much. I like how much I looked forward to a safe area after barely escaping boss battles and crimson heads with my life. There were a couple cases where I felt like I was robbed of progress, dying after I had played a couple hours, but it heightens the intensity and the sense that you're surviving against overwhelming odds.

One of my favorite shots of the game on the internet. Cinematic camera angles galore!

Without spoiling ANYTHING (spoilers: there are two characters to play as, and there are zombies) The two playable characters have their perks and different story beats, though you essentially end up in the same place at the end (but ah! wait! there are multiple endings!). Chris and Jill are both solid avatars for you, the gamer, but never exert too much personality. In fact, most all of the characters in the story aren't really filled with too much personality, but the mysterious mansion and the tidbits of information slowly revealed to you make up for any lack of truly compelling leads. The story is enjoyable enough, as cheesy as it can become at certain times. However, it's perfectly serviceable and the mansion has such an ominous atmosphere that I could recommend the game on this basis alone. It truly is a game that deserves to be experienced at least once (if not twice!), whether you're new to the franchise or looking to relive the glory days of the Gamecube. I think you could guess which one it was for me (hint: the latter). Until next time, keep riding the wave.

7.75 out of 10

Graphics: The environments are quite good, with sometimes blurry textures outweighed by the eerie design of the locations. Character models look a bit out of place, but not bad. Some cutscenes seem to have forgotten that they're in an Xbox One title and look way too grainy.

Sound: Poor voice acting combines with creepy creature calls to create a surprisingly solid sound department. Get over the voices and the rest is smooth sailing.

Replay Value: The game needs to be played at least twice through to get a full taste of the experience, as Chris and Jill each have a separate path through the campaign. There are also plenty of little challenges and secret items you can unlock by completing these challenges. For example, beating the game in under 5 hours gets you a ____! I spent around 20 hours on the game, and I didn't get too involved in the challenges. There's AT LEAST 20-25 hours of value here.

Entertainment Value: There's no better time than the present to get started on the Resident Evil series. This is the definitive Resident Evil experience, and even with obtuse puzzles, annoying item management, and somewhat wonky controls, it deserves a shot with its stellar atmosphere and creepy, cinematic encounters making this easily worth $19.99. It doesn't hurt that it offers a ton of replayability, especially for newcomers and fans who must find every secret.

It has...sea creatures in it. Honestly all it's missing are mutated spid--oh wait a minute...

REal Good Time Waster or REal Overrated? Sofa Surfer Reviews Resident Evil 4

I couldn't help myself! Having recently completed the original (remastered) Resident Evil on Xbox One, I had to replay Resident Evil 4. Thankfully, it happened to be on sale this past week for Xbox 360, an excellent deal that only encouraged me to return to it sooner! It may be blasphemous to say that this entry in the long-running series may be my favorite, though RE5 takes that spot on other days (it was really fun! maybe review soon?! Remastered is coming right up). However, playing through the 360's HD version, not quite everything was as I remembered...and in the process of guiding Leon S. Kennedy through his macabre travels, I realized I never finished playing through the PS2 version. I seriously have around thirty minutes left to play; apparently I just never returned to it. The superior version is certainly the 360 one, with its HD capabilities. So is this the game that redefined the third-person shooter genre, or just a pale shadow of the survival horror experiences that came before it? Well, it definitely changed the game, and in my opinion (of course!), for the better.

He just wants a hug.

Graphics and Sound

At the time it was released way, way back in 2005, RE4 looked fantastic. I remember seeing gameplay and wishing I had it on the Gamecube for the longest time, along with the original RE (remake). Even now, a decade later, it looks solid, thanks to the extra coat of paint/HD remaster. The character models in particular still look quite good, though the environments, exuding a little more grit than I remember, are a bit rough, with textures ranging from passable to below average at certain points. They are still well-designed, or at least varied to the point that they'll capture your gaze on more than one occasion. Since the game is caked in dirt, the gameplay experience does not suffer much if at all because the graphics aren't what they used to be (especially in memory! oh my youth!). Animations are all solid, and some of the monstrosities Leon faces are gruesomely imagined and a treat to behold. If your definition of treat is a towering tentacle filled with viscous fluid. This IS the best the game has looked, so there's no better version to jump into (unless you're someone who must play the original release on Gamecube...have at you!). The graphics are a testament to the game's strong design and smooth quality of the HD remaster.

Nice character models, right? Minus Leon's hair of course. 

On the sound front, voice acting still lays on the cheese a bit much, with a script that's still classic RE absurd, but that's what you expect when you play one of these games, right? I certainly didn't mind Leon's "smart-assery" when talking on his radio throughout the game. I found it pretty funny that the villains would ring Leon to trash talk him. The humanoid (do they even qualify as humans?) enemies do repeat their chants and lines a bit much, but they're essentially insane, infected cultists so it's totally cool. The more interesting creatures hiss and growl appropriately, with the just the echoing sound of some of these approaching baddies making you reach for your strongest weapon in anticipation. The weapons and their resounding impact on enemies are still top-notch, disgusting yet satisfyingly weighty. Speaking of weapons, I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the weapons dealer, with his "stranger" and "what are ya buying" still delivered with Cockney-esque gusto. I was always excited to finally reach him and hear his one-of-a-kind "Welcooomeeeee!" As for the music, it's used sparingly, and when it is utilized, it's often to great effect, accenting jump scares and enemy encounters. Overall, the sound design is most excellent, one of the best parts of the game. But if I hear Ashley yell out "LEON" one more damn time...

I'll probably just shrug. AND LET HER SUFFER AT THE HANDS OF CRUEL FATE!

Gameplay

RE4 is often viewed as the series' most accessible game in many ways. Ammo is more plentiful, and you don't need to find ink ribbons every time you need to save (as in the RE remastered title). The focus is on bigger action and more set pieces, though this doesn't mean the game fails to retain a tense atmosphere. It's not survival horror in the strictest sense, and some purists bear ill-will towards it because it signaled a gradual shift towards full-out action in the series, but tell me your not fighting JUST to survive in the many heated battles! There's ammo, but often not a surplus. Enemies often shamble towards you, but their numbers are many, enough that you almost always have enemies creeping up behind you when you least expect it. I've rarely had more fun working crowd control, with the various weapons offering a number of customizable options for you to unlock. The pace of the game is excellent, shifting from tense encounters against pitchfork-toting villagers to giant one-on-one boss battles, with the stakes ever-elevating. New enemies and threats pop up pretty frequently, keeping you on your toes and forcing you to adjust your strategies. Realizing that a few well-placed rounds from your pistol are still not enough to stop chainsaw-wielding baddies from cutting you down like lumber makes your heart race. Even the sound of a chainsaw in the distance is enough to set you on edge.

You fools! Never bring a torch to a rocket fight! 

This is actually the beginning of a dance sequence...

The over-the-shoulder camera view when aiming was introduced to its greatest effect here, a fantastic innovation that ended up being used in a multitude of third-person action titles. If you think of your favorite action games in the past decade, chances are they have mechanics inspired by RE4. The gunplay is tight and responsive, and the areas that require more problem-solving than a few bullets offer a nice (though not challenging enough to be called puzzling) change of pace. As smooth as the combat is, the controls are lacking. A select few would say it adds to the difficulty, as you attempt to fend off enemies from all sides and struggle to turn and move fast enough. I feel that the controls can be stiff in tight spots, and being unable to move at all while aiming can be frustrating during more intense moments of the game. Honestly, after a half hour or so, the controls become second nature, with turning and attempting (and failing to) to suddenly change directions the only things that hold the game back.

As for other questionable aspects of the experience, I found that the puzzle-lite item management added an additional layer of strategy to the game. Having to make a choice to have the ultra-powerful RPG take up an immense amount of space at the price of having very few recovery times OR have recovery items and smaller firearms that pack less of a punch means that you actually have to give some thought to your load out. If you fail to succeed in one pitched battle, you may go back and decide to sell your larger weapon(s) and hope to find some extra ammo that you now have space to hold. Would it be fun to have all the weapons and not worry about having space for necessities? Possibly, but another level of tension would be lost in translation.

Matching chainsaws? How cute.

All in all, though the story is classic Resident Evil intrigue and bioterrorism, it still manages to make Leon an enjoyable lead fighting against some interesting villains. With a set-up involving saving the US President's daughter from a sinister cult, it works well enough to move you through the varied European environments and action beats, though I certainly won't be thinking about it a few weeks from now. The gunplay makes even defending the President's helpless daughter enjoyable (I'm looking at you, Natalya from Goldeneye!). Also included in this version (and all versions post-Gamecube) are a few additional game modes, two involving the mysterious Ada Wong as she runs through environments out of the main game and the other being Mercenaries mode. One campaign with Ada is a welcome addition, but her other campaign and time-attack survival mode Mercenaries didn't hold my attention for too long.

This is one of the finest third-person action titles ever released, and though the controls and graphics can be a bit rough by modern standards, the varied enemy encounters and white-knuckle last stands are easily enough to recommend this game to all but complete bastards who refuse to play games from an older generation! Tell me its not fun unloading your upgraded shotgun into giant cockroach-like enemies with a resounding crunch. Game, set, and match! If the game is on sale, do not hesitate. If the game is full price (19.99) DO NOT hesitate.

Until next time, keep riding the wave.

9.0 out of 10

Graphics: Remastered in smooth HD, it may not look as good as I remembered particularly on the environmental textures front, but it still holds up surprisingly well today. Solid overall, with some fantastic creatures to behold.

Sound: The sound design is great, with the over-the-top voice acting and vicious, growling creatures making for a memorable thrill ride. Jump scares are perfectly accompanied by the expected and sudden music.

Replay Value: With a campaign that can last up to 15 hours if you take your time, RE4 could be recommended on this element alone. Add in Ada Wong's fun side stories, Mercenaries mode, and a new game+ option, and you have a package with tremendous value. You'll definitely get over 25 hours of fun gameplay out of this package. 

Entertainment Value: Quite possibly my favorite RE title as well as a giant step forward for third-person action games, RE4 is an intense, explosive, and revolutionary title that still holds up today. The graphics and controls aren't fantastic, but these minor quibbles are outweighed by the sheer fun of the game and it's terrific pacing. A sublime action-horror experience, and a fitting entry point for newcomers to the series. In other words, if you haven't played it yet, WHY NOT?! Go! Play it!

Hard To Beat or Hardly Worth It? Sofa Surfer Reviews Battlefield: Hardline

Speaking of sofa surfing, Gamespot got some great footage of a drivable sofa back before Hardline went gold...check it out! <http://www.gamespot.com/videos/driving-a-couch-battlefield-hardline/2300-6423921/>

For a number of gamers, Battlefield and Call of Duty fight it out for multiplayer supremacy on their systems year after year. Some prefer the smaller maps and twitch-based warfare in CoD, while others enjoy the larger maps and more strategic (though not REALLY strategic, of course) and destructive leanings of Battlefield. Others despise both series for their annual releases and lack of innovation on a year to year basis, bemoaning each new release as a cash grab or pieces of over-priced, glorified DLC. There are also people who enjoy both series and enjoy waiting for EA to develop reliable servers (a million laughs). Personally, I enjoy both series, and (gasp) I play them as much for their single-player campaigns as for their cooperative and competitive online modes! Is Hardline an ill-advised cash grab or a diverting entry in the Battlefield canon (or since it's Battlefield, cannon)? Wellllllllllll...a bit of both. If you played and loved the Beta and know you'll be getting the title for its multiplayer, then the single-player campaign will not mean way too much to you, and even so, it's not good enough to garner a full purchase on its own. Sorry campaign lovers! All three of you.

Graphics and Sound
The first thing some will notice is the resolution numbers on the next-gen systems: 900p on PS4 and 720p on Xbox One (<-the version I reviewed). I was honestly surprised at the 720p. The game was not sharp or crisp as I had hoped.  Honestly, it did not hinder my enjoyment to a negative degree, as I still frequent my 360, PS2 and various Nintendo consoles. If you want to show off the power of your new system or feast your eyes on glorious new gen textures, this is NOT a go-to game. It's underwhelming in many respects, though not quite downright UGLY. Simply put, the graphics get the job done, albeit without flair or style or slick textures. This could be a turn off for many, but once you're in the thick of the action, you'll likely be more forgiving. Hopefully. What I could not forgive was the lack of flat-out destruction! Yeah, you can blow apart artsy sculptures in rich villains' digs and some walls can be destroyed (at least in multiplayer), but not to the degree that was present in the Bad Company series. It sort of makes sense, as this game is more focused on an intense, "urban police" experience (which means less blowing up structures and more sneaking up on thugs and surprising them). Still, I yearned for the days when an errant shaped charge (or three) resulted in a thundering shower of dust and shrapnel, culminating in the reveal of enemy combatants formerly in hiding. Oh well! Prepare yourself for disappointment graphically and you'll be fine. Trust me. Or knock a point of my score if it really matters! Go ahead, see if I care! (Ahem) Anyways...

As you can see, the weapons are all shiny and well-modeled. But more importantly they're shiny.

As always, the sound design of the game is fantastic. The various weapons sound suitably loud and powerful, with changes in scenery resulting in different responses from your firearms (example: moving from a wide open street into a cozy hallway yields a nice shift in the intensity of the weapons' cracks and bangs!). The excellent sonic experience continues into the voice acting of the game, with the actors providing fitting deliveries of the passable (barely!) dialogue. Their performances kept me involved more than the story did, though they certainly won't knock your socks off. As for the music, I don't think you'll be humming it the next day. It never elevated my experience, as an excellent soundtrack is able to do (see/hear Deus Ex: Human Revolution's OST for examples). A rock solid sound package all-around.

China White? From Arrow? Is That You?!

Gameplay

Is the game as good as Bad Company 1 and 2 or BF3 and BF4? In short, no. The open environments in the Bad Company games are sorely missed, though most areas in the campaign are set up similar to  Far Cry outposts (as many reviewers have correctly observed). This provides a nice change of pace, as almost every other level EVER made for the Battlefield series involves shooting everything that moves. Or buildings that happen to be in your way. Here you have the option to auto-freeze baddies with your badge, with the stealthy and non-lethal options at your disposal offering more choice than usual. This ability to sneak up on a group of up to three fully-armed enemies and automatically stop them dead in their tracks is absurd, albeit oddly satisfying. I relished the opportunities when I could directly run up to three shotgun toting criminals, flash my badge, and have them immediately drop their weapons. Clearing a level this way for the first time was a thrill in its almost comical efficiency. The thrill doesn't last for long, since you unlock most of the higher tier weapons halfway through the campaign by playing stealthily, which is pretty much the only motivator to cuff the criminals. Rewarding players for stealth is nice, but rewarding them with loud weapons is essentially encouraging them to go all out and take no prisoners in the final third of the game. Thankfully, the option to light up a drug lab with the game's numerous firearms is viable. At higher difficulties such an option isn't suggestible, as you'll fall like a sack of potatoes in no time after the enemies call in backup.

The most exciting character in the game? Or just another weasel spouting crap one-liners?!

The shooting mechanics are as smooth as ever, and although the enemies have a worse sightline than Stevie Wonder, they're not completely pushovers once they discover your presence. Well, they're kind of just stormtroopers with better aim at higher difficulties, like the cannon fodder in so many first-person action games. The artificial intelligence for these baddies is lacking but not absolutely horrible, though your teammates are pretty brainless. And are essentially invisible to any enemies that have seen YOU, the player. This is a blessing in disguise during stealthy sections, since they can walk directly in front of an enemy without consequence. I remember thinking "STOP you fool! They'll detect us! You're ruining everything aghhhhhh!" while sneaking through levels, only to be reminded of their apparent chameleon-like ability to blend into the background. Ra's al Ghul would be proud. The levels are pretty much linear, and though they have collectible pieces of evidence and certain enemies can be captured for bounties (extra nuggets of experience points), they don't offer much in the realm of choice or visual splendor OR even exciting design.

Set pieces can't measure up to the ones in past games, and the story doesn't do the experience any favors. Watched a cop drama before? Well, if you're surprised, I'll eat my SANDWICH. Yep, a whole sandwich. But seriously, even if you overheard a friend discussing a cop show, you should be able to guess what happens. The actors do a nice job and the TV episode presentation breaks from the norm, but other than an ending that I found mildly intriguing if only for setting up a different path for future games, nothing sticks with you. Remember shooting that one guy with the vest then talking to your partner? Yeah I don't either! It all blends together, with the lackluster revenge storyline barely registering. It was diverting enough for me to not despise the campaign, and I was also interested in seeing the various environments I could attempt to destroy. After playing through it twice, I don't intend on ever looking at it again unless it's out of the corner of my eye, with disdain! (Honestly though you can get cheesy enjoyment out of it. I did on my first completion). Admirable for attempting something new, but mistaken. If you really want to try the campaign, give it a rental.

I wonder what will break first, EA? Your servers OR your fan base?! 

Let's hug it out, Batman. Hugs bunny?

NOW, what you've been waiting for! The multiplayer. Once again, I ask, is it as good as the past few Battlefield games? In short, no. Is it bad? Certainly not. I personally missed the larger maps and tanks, but it has new game modes that at least try to offer some variety. Hotwire, Blood Money, and Heist were my favorite new modes, with Hotwire a variation of capture the flag with vehicles replacing the "flags" (and the other two modes are also variations of capture the flag, minus vehicles in Heist at least). Though the driving is a bit stiff, I enjoyed leaning out the window of a police cruiser and lighting up a van in pursuit. With the smaller maps, the combat encounters often take place in closer quarters, speeding up the pace of matches. This is both good and bad as there is less strategy involved but more emphasis on quick reflexes. If a twitchier BF experience sounds like your thing, then hot damn go for it! Perhaps it's closest to a mix between CoD and previous Battlefield titles?

One of the best parts of the game: destroying penthouse furniture!

Okay, that's a bit of a stretch. Matches move smoothly and usually go off without a hitch. Gunplay is responsive, and there are a host of weapons and tools at your disposal. Sadly, unlocking many of these just takes too damn long. Rewards aren't as frequent as I had hoped, and the past games had more options from the get go. I also prefer the more strategic leanings of a game like Bad Company 2, where I could find a good sniping spot and lay low or provide heavy cover with a tank. I felt like I could be a contributor to the team in BC2, even if I had a poor game in the K:D category (kill to death ratio). In Hardline, there were few cases that I really felt like a strong contributor unless I was taking down combatants at a good clip. I was also still annoyed by the battlepack system, if only because other people saw fit to pay REAL money to unlock more crap! Shame on them! How dare they have cool weapons already! But it's not a bad option for people who are short on time or patience and are willing to pay to experience more the game has to offer The multiplayer is solid all around, though if you're looking for a more classic Battlefield experience, Battlefield 4 would be the better choice.

The single-player is disappointing, with a weak story, and the though the multiplayer is good with some fun new modes, it can't match up to past entries. If you want a new-gen Battlefield more in line with past entries, BF4 is a strong multiplayer choice. As for me, I'll stick with Bad Company 2! If you loved Hardline's beta and want more, then this may warrant a full purchase. Otherwise, give it a rental to try it out before paying full price. It's certainly worth a rental! Unspectacular, but solid. Until next time, keep surfing.

Stock Photo Hotwire Action! (Insert Caption)

7.0 out of 10

Graphics: Although the game runs at only 720p on Xbox One (the version I reviewed), its frame rate was steady online and offline. It obviously does not look as sharp as I had hoped, but it's certainly not ugly either. Muddy and quite unimpressive at some points, but solid otherwise.

Sound: As expected the sounds of battle are captured extremely well. The rattle of automatic weapons in an alley never fails to provide immersion and excitement. The voice acting is also well done, though the music is not memorable.

Replay Value: The campaign offers a bit of replay value as the hardest difficulty can only be unlocked after a complete playthrough and there are cases that need hidden evidence from each level to complete, but aside from a couple of different approaches in some levels and a few collectible weapons otherwise, the campaign can be explored in its entirety in 6-8 hours. Now multiplayer, as with many shooters, is multi-layered and has multiple tiers, classes, and loadouts to unlock. You could conceivably play this every day until the end of time! If that's not you, then you'll probably get a good 25-30 hours out of it (or more, until the next installment comes out perhaps).

Entertainment Value: The campaign offers an interesting change of pace, though it still disappoints much like the past couple installments. The multiplayer is the real meat of the experience, as expected, and though it lacks the wide open, destructive majesty of past entries with pitched tank battles, it is still exciting and the new game modes were actually fun. Plus, the game actually worked when it released. Huzzah?!?! 

What's next for the Hardline series? Hard-hitting crime in US cities or in the favelas?

(Kind of just wanted to tell you guys to watch these...segway!)