Hey y'all! Howdy! Welcome to my blog in progress, also known as the place English majors go to die!! Or, as described by John Hurt in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, the space between spaces! Far more exciting and mysterious than it really is. Anyways, this blog will be acting as my film and video game review base of operations until the fully-fledged website is up and running. As a huge film nerd and video game lover, I hope to share my passion with you, the reader! (or readers, I can only hope) I will not only review the flavor of the month films and games, I will also contribute my myriad number of "archival" reviews, discussing games and movies that have since fallen out of the public eye. In other words, old stuff I have never gotten around to transferring from carved stone tablets. I cannot promise consistent posts, but I can promise cool guest posts and opinion pieces by (mostly) friendly and self-appointed experts on topics such as books, sports, and ancient wisdom. So astoundingly generic, you have to keep reading! The laughs and jokes will not stop coming, it's a curse. The curse of attempting to convey sarcasm through a keyboard.
So, off to the races! Here's a quick rundown of how reviews work.
For video games, the scoring scale will be from 0-10, with 0 being utter crap, 5 being intriguingly and almost insultingly mediocre, and 10 being unattainable. Games may also achieve fourth or half points, meaning .25, .50, and .75. These are mainly for my indecisiveness, as I waffle between giving the interactive experience a 7 or a 7.25, or WAIT! a 7.75 at the last minute. The cumulative game score will be based on the full package of graphics, sound design (music and sound effects and so forth), replay value, and sheer playability and entertainment value. I will do my best to offer my most honest opinion, warts and all! If I compare the score rubric, it would be most similar to Game Informer, so hopefully clear and palatable. If you ever wanted to know if you should buy Clash of the Titans for the Xbox 360, such knowledge shall be bestowed upon you (hint: RUN AWAY!).
For films, I will score out of a traditional four stars, ranging from (you guessed it) 0-4 stars, with 0 being a waste of time and money, 2 being so so-so, and 4 being only Chris Nolan movies (I jest, I jest...). Half star scores will also be attainable, especially for movies that just aren't good enough to be 3 stars! I will try my best not to completely spoil films, as I have had the misfortune of reading many film reviews only to happen upon the critic's anger at the ending where X dies and Y is the REAL father and so on. If I do discuss such matters, I will certainly give fair warning. Much of the pleasure I derive from watching new films is the sense of discovery as the film unwinds, taking me along for the ride. Some films, of course, exist purely as comfort food, so to speak, or pure escapism. Either way, you will know if I want you to run out and see the film by the end of my review! If you can get past my parentheses.
For everything else that is posted, specifically from my "guest experts"/dawn patrol, I just hope you enjoy what you read! No review charts and numbers to deal with. Be warned though: here be puns, aye! Bad puns at that! Seriously. They may have some next level quips and cracks, all crap! I myself can only guarantee a side order of cheese. Don't be surprised if book reviews are a little dense, either (hint: look for the books with cool covers!). Coming soon: TV reviews as well!
Until next time, keep surfing. Don't be afraid to ride the wave!
Cheers!
Sean
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